Getting the privilege to learn Theories of Communication for a few weeks at this point, I’m starting to understand the advancement my marriage with my husband and how that progressed coming from being a good friend, to a boyfriend, and now my personal dearest husband.
That was a little over the decade before since 2001. We got committed in 2008. And in 2010, we had each of our very first child. Let me initial narrate how it all started out. We initially met within an internet chat room of the university or college that we went to.
I was attracted to his username and chosen to send him a private message. If I bear in mind correctly all of us started to speak endlessly regarding our favorite music, and discovered that there were a lot in accordance. This continued during the session break. We exchanged telephone numbers. From on-line to the line we conversed for hours and hours.
The vacations were more than, and we chosen to hang out. Prior to the meet up, somewhere along our conversations we did start up the kind of garments we wore and discussed shoes. Coincidentally we had sneakers of the same kind, a pair of sneakers, his were blue, and mine had been red. We both decided to wear those shoes or boots going out.
One thing about these tennis shoes is that, the dirtier it really is, the better it looks. It’s meant to appearance worn out. This information is crucial level that generated our relationship.
Prior to I go forward with the story, I’d prefer to highlight the fact that conversation there were about our tastes in music and clothes is only touching the area, the launch was just an ice breaking session. In line with the social transmission theory, it’s the superficial coating. And posting the same loves in music as well as shoes, naturally this led to an association that made us agree upon this face to face meet up.
So came the day of our ‘date’. This wasn’t really a date since I did go along a friend, and my intentions were just to get to know basis at this point. As promised he wore his blue sneakers and I dressed in my crimson sneakers. I noticed that his shoes were squeaky clean. And couldn’t quit ridiculing him of how uncool it was put on clean trainers.
This lead me to purposely put pressure on his sneakers to make this look soiled and of course awesome, at least according to the ‘the dirtier the better’ secret. And this action of discoloration his shoes, sparked fireworks, and I sensed butterflies flying in my stomach! I quickly stepped away and tried to laugh wishing the butterflies would soar away.
I must have blushed. Then, all of us moved on to our next vacation spot, a fast meals restaurant. I used to be famished, and i also ordered my favourite onion bands. I believed really comfortable eating in front of him, most likely it was because of the hunger i had zero shame, My spouse and i gobbled the onion rings, smacking my personal mouth collectively and gulped it straight down and consumed my soda pop.
Not realizing that he was watching me consume. And then there were only one red onion ring still left, we both reached out for it, nevertheless he let me have it instead. Ate this instantly, in support of then I discovered he was watching how I was eating. And i also asked, having a half approach eaten onion ring “Uh, is there a problem. Do you want this kind of? ” although showing the other half in the onion band.
He shook his mind while cheerful, and stated how enthusiastic I was munching away and it made him have a good laugh. Talking about onions let me bring up back to the theory. Coincidentally Irwin Altman and Dallas The singer the builders of this sociable penetration version metaphorically use an onion to explain the theory while onions just like humans have many layers and depths. Therefore in my event of gulping down the red onion ring, and having him laugh regarding it goes into the center layer which includes revealed both of our social attitudes.
Becoming comfortable on this new revelation, we both stated how we experienced, especially throughout the shoe moving ceremony. I used to be relieved and delighted to know I wasn’t the only one viewing fireworks and having butterflies frolicking inside my bowels. At this stage we have permeated into the internal layer. Both of us started to share more detailed info and history, our beliefs, hopes, and secrets as well. His magic formula was about her he had a crush in, and acquire was that I actually already was seeing somebody else.
A guy That i knew of for almost couple of years. Let’s call him ‘Mr X’. The partnership between Mr X and I wasn’t accomplishing this good, it had been really around the rocks, just on the verge of dropping over the high cliff, yet all of us held upon.
I personally organised on, since I assumed he was the guy which i wanted to marry, and thought that he was mister perfect. But when meeting my husband, the title ‘mister perfect’ no longer belonged to Mr Back button. This is when I started assessing the two, testing who is better. I was using the comparison standard of alternatives in the social exchange theory. Mr X used to be a 10/10, but meeting my husband, the choice totally conquered Mr Back button with a range of 100/10!
I knew after that what I had to do. Say bye-bye to Mr X. Yet , it took myself months to officially call it off. It wasn’t convenient, because Mr X was quite special to me. Although 10 years later, at this moment, regularly seeing my dearest child and beloved husband, observing them sleeping every night, I do not have an ounce of regret going for the alternative.
Now that we’re married with a child, it is easy to declare we have came into the intimate layer with the onion, and still have revealed our core individuality, exposing ourself to our most elementary self. We both have heard different frequencies of each other’s passing of gas, and even the different types of scent. Probably we both experienced too much red onion, digging in too profound that we wasn’t able to hold that in any for a longer time. It may seem gross to some, yet that is us being each of our true selves, by not really hiding the flatulence.
The theories described in relation to the introduction of my romantic relationship seem to have been applied practically quite perfectly that it is difficult to find a flaw. The sociable exchange theory which includes the comparison amount of alternatives is definitely something that everybody would most probably go through in a relationship. If this isn’t relevant, it’s just might be because that person does not have the alternative to compare to. Yet , having that stated, using this standard of evaluation doesn’t indicate one has to find the better alternative.
Because, as i have said earlier, the social transmission theory says that individuals are made up of a large number of layers, sometimes what a single sees in a person is only a certain breadth of that person, depending on someone and the degree of interaction it might take years for one to get to know a person totally, at times, it merely requires never takes place. Therefore , to choose what types measures as the better alternative might turn out to be even worse! When they will end up in depth one might discover some deep dark key of that person who is really disturbing.
And however by that period, it might be in its final stages to return to the previous relationship. However if you are lucky enough following weighing the possible final results, like in my personal case, the better actually is the best decision ever made.
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